OMG sooooo tired...

Note to self: after spending twelve hours on your feet for a dog show and logging 18,000 steps on a pedometer during said show, going to the gym and running is not the best idea ever.

File tonight's run under Runs I Should Have Just Bagged. I had to stop after 2.5 miles (was supposed to do 3). Words fail to describe how tired I am. Thank goodness tomorrow is a rest day!

Looking back, looking ahead W16/W15

You know, I really need to do a better job taking my own advice. This morning's Group Run was canceled because temperatures were between 0 and 5 above and the wind chills were producing below-zero temperatures. Definitely a day to run indoors. So did I go to the gym nice and early like I should have? Nope. Slept in, walked dogs, went out to breakfast, went grocery shopping, had nap, walked dogs again, and then surprise surprise, it was 5:00 already!

I hit the indoor track at 5:40, just in time to see a cascade of pinks and purples melting into the horizon as the sun went down, and then I kicked into jogging gear and kind of zoned out. I felt a little creaky the first mile, but fortunately that didn't last, and I ran a little faster on the last mile. I found that counting my footstrikes (I counted every time my right foot hit the ground) every second or third lap made the laps go by quickly. (I also found out that I take about 270 steps to cover the 250 meters in one lap, so now I can calculate my stride length when I run. Nifty, eh?) I ran my fastest 3.125 miles this year, covering the distance in 31:25 for a very speedy (for me) 10:01 pace!! Ten-minute mile, here I come!

And then I came home and finished my little armada of awareness ribbons. There are 44 gold ones (lymphoma), 21 olive green ones (leukemia), and 14 blue ones (myeloma). They all have their little safety pins attached and everything. Now they get to hang out in a cookie tin until their big day three weeks from now.

But this IS supposed to be the weekly review post, so let's get on with it...

Today marks the end of Week 16, and tomorrow is exactly 15 weeks until race day. (AAAAGGHH!)

What was I was supposed to do in Week 16? Did I do it?

• Sunday: 3 miles YES! (Group run)
  
• Monday: REST YES! (Heh.)
  
• Tuesday: 3 miles YES!
• Wednesday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes YES! (Pilates)
  
• Thursday: 3 miles YES!
  
• Friday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes YES! (More Pilates)
  
• Saturday: 3 miles YES!

Now, see, all-green weeks should be the rule, not the exception. My times are improving by leaps and bounds, so I think this workload is agreeing with me.

Here's what I'm supposed to do in Week 15:

• Sunday: 3 miles
  
• Monday: REST
  
• Tuesday: 3 miles
  
• Wednesday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes
  
• Thursday: 3 miles
  
• Friday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes
• Saturday: 4 miles (this is where the long run mileage starts to go up)
  

Week 15 marks the beginning of the mileage increases. There will be an increase on at least one run every week from here on in until about two weeks before the race, when the taper starts. (The taper is the period at the end of your training when you cut back on your mileage before you race. It gives your body a chance to recover from all the training you've inflicted on it so you'll be rarin' to go when it's time to toe the start line. So goes the theory, anyway--I've never experienced a taper.)

I got two entries for my agility fundraiser from Steve, who also volunteered to build a jump for my raffle (a million thanks, Steve!), so that's another $30.00 that will go to LLS. I also got a donation from my friend Seth, who has met my mom a few times and knows how cool she is. Thank you, Seth! You two kept me from reporting a big goose egg for the week.

I have to get up really early tomorrow morning, so I'd better hit the hay. Good night, all, and stay warm!

Stop! I have a glue gun and I'm not afraid to use it!

Actually, I am a little afraid. It's "only" a low-temp glue gun (10 watts), but any household tool bearing this warning is scary!

Despite being arguably the least crafty person on Planet Earth, I sat down this afternoon to make my awareness ribbons for my fundraiser next month.
Gun, check. Glue, check. Ribbon, check. And safety pins. Check. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

I used 3/8" wide grosgrain ribbon. I had no idea how long the ribbons should be, but 5" seemed like a nice round number.

I ordered six yards of the gold ribbon (for lymphoma). As you can see, it will make quite a few ribbons.

Inspiration strikes: wrapping the ribbon around a CD-ROM spindle helps it take the right shape.


Ready, aim, fire! The lady at the craft store warned me that "a little dab'll do ya," and she was right. I used too much glue on some of these.


The ribbon was thick enough that I could press down on top of the fold without burning myself. The glue only took a few seconds to cool and dry.


Repeat this process 43 more times, and you get this: a solemn little army of gold ribbons ready to get out there and raise awareness. (Each one unique! No two alike, thanks to my un-craftiness!) The sad part is that I know so many people who will be wearing one of these because they or someone they love battled lymphoma...and too many who fought lost that battle. I pinned the very first one I made to my sweater. It is a bit of an ugly duckling because it was the prototype, but I don't care.


All in a day's work, folks. I live to serve.

Run early, run often

9:37 AM: I get back from a very chilly walk with the dogs to see an e-mail from Betsy, my sometime gym partner: "I'm hoping to head over to the gym around 10:00. Give me a call or e-mail if you're interested." I purse my lips, wondering if I should essentially drop everything and go the gym right away. I have two deadlines to meet today and I haven't started either project that's due. Work is going to take me in its giant fist and squeeze me until my eyeballs bulge. I also need to make dinner before those chicken breasts in the fridge go bad, and I look like hell and could really use a good long shower before I allow anyone to lay eyes upon me.

Still, at least this way I know I'll get my run in. I call Betsy and tell her we're on.

10:30 AM: The gym is as crowded as I've ever seen it. I can't even sit down in the locker room for more than 15 seconds before someone walks up and says, "Excuse me, but I need to get in that locker behind you." This happens three times. I do manage to snag a treadmill next to Betsy and start running. I am inappropriately gleeful that I got one of the treadmills with a working heart rate readout. After my five-minute warmup, I set the speed to an 11-minute pace and give myself a slight incline. I note with satisfaction that just a few weeks ago when I was running with Betsy and Steve, aka The Runner Who Will Always Be Much Faster Than Me (Probably Also Following His Death), I was running a slower pace, but it took much more effort on my part. Improvement is a beautiful thing.

11:00 AM: An athletic-looking college-age woman sidles up to me, hands on hips, and shoots me a disapproving look. "Did you sign up for that?" she says, nodding her head at the gerbil wheel. She clearly thinks I am squatting here and stole her precious treadmill. I say I did, and she asks when I'm going to be done like she is just sooooo put out. I tell her twelve minutes and kick the speed up another notch. Sheesh. I can't wait for March when all the New Year's resolution people will be gone and the weather will make it easier to run outside.

11:15 AM: Done with the run. I covered three miles in 34:42 for an 11:34 pace, but that included the five-minute warmup. I step off the treadmill only to see that Miss Soooo Put Out is jogging along on a different one.

12:00 PM: After twenty minutes of pretzel exercises (aka stretching), I change, wait a bit for Betsy to finish up, and get dropped off back at home. Yes, it took two hours to go to the gym! My first work deadline is at 5 PM, aaack!

1:00 PM: After a good lunch and a bit of reading, I finally sit down at the computer to start Project #1, which is due in 4 hours.

4:40 PM: Project #1 is finished! I send it off, feeling very accomplished and brilliant, and start putting on the extra clothing needed to walk the dogs in sub-20-degree weather.

5:40 PM: I decide I will cook before I do Project #2, which is not due until 10 PM.

7:15 PM: My home-cooked dinner is ready! Yum.

8:00 PM: I sit down to tackle Project #2. It's much smaller than #1, so I figure it can't take too long.

8:30 PM: I tell myself to stop reading blogs and get to work already.

9:15 PM: Done! I send off Project #2.

9:30 PM: I start writing this blog entry.

The moral of the story is that you should always run as early in the day as possible, no matter how busy your schedule is. Even though I had a ton of work to do today, everything still got done on time. It didn't matter that I essentially lost the whole morning. I am sure that if I had waited, with the excuse that "I have so much to do today--I'll go after I get everything else out of the way," I wouldn't have had enough oompfh left to go to the gym--or I would have gone in the evening and had to elbow my way through a crowd just to get on the indoor track. (If the place was wall-to-wall at 10:30 in the morning, can you imagine what it must be like at 6:30 at night??)

So, run early, run often! You won't regret it.

The triangle: Kim, Michelle, and Jonathan

I'm thinking about leaving Michelle for Kim. I may actually decide to keep them both and just not tell them about the other one's existence. Kim doesn't even know Michelle exists, and Michelle is so busy doing her own thing she wouldn't notice Kim if she tripped over her. But I'm also interested in rekindling the flame with Jonathan...he's such a pushover, always telling me I'm looking good no matter how sweaty and disheveled I get, grinning at me every five seconds--he'll gladly take me back, I just know it.

Desperate Housewives episode? Nope, just my cross-training conundrum. :-) Michelle is the perky blonde instructor on my Pilates for Dummies video. Kim is teaching an actual live Pilates class that starts a week from today. I signed up thinking it would be nice to get some actual feedback on how I'm doing the exercises. However, it's only a once-a-week class and I have two cross-training days on the schedule (Friday is the other one), so I have to figure out what to do with the other day. I could do the Pilates video, and I would probably do the exercises better after having had some real instruction. Another option would be to go back to the strength training video I was doing before this whole Team in Training thing took over my life. Jonathan is the instructor on that one. (He is fun. I like that he throws random compliments at the camera, as if he could actually see you. Never fails to crack me up.) Or I could do something completely different, like swimming or a spinning class. Choices, choices...

I did the Pilates video today and made it all the way to the end for the first time, so that was a plus. On the negative side, I'm starting to feel my way into the exercises enough to see that my form sucks. I've also gained a pound and a half because I can no longer eat like I'm working out every single day. And to top it all off, I ended up ordering pizza instead of making dinner. Did you know that one slice of Papa John's Spinach Alfredo pizza has 290 calories and 6 grams of saturated fat? (I had two slices. Two. Yeaaaarrgggghhh!)

So, three miles tomorrow that I clearly desperately need. Onward!

*Click*

That's the sound my lap counter makes: you press down with your thumb, and it produces this glorious mechanical affirmation that you made it around the track to anyone who cares enough to listen.

Today was a click-by-click run that almost wasn't. My back hurt--was it because I stood on a concrete floor for 3 1/2 hours yesterday, or because I was coming down with something? My head and shoulders hurt--too much time on the computer, or was I in the initial stages of some horrible plague? I almost didn't go to the gym, and when I saw there were no unoccupied treadmills (oh, how I wanted to phone it in today!), I almost didn't climb the stairs to the indoor track.

But I did and I did and I am here now, so after walking two laps to warm up, I switch into a jog and start my watch. I am not going to be competitive, I swear to myself. I am not going to speed up to pass anyone, no matter how annoying he or she may be. I keep to an easy pace and start to feel the heat from the ducts mingle with the cold air radiating through the windows. I pass the entryway three times.

Click. Click. Click.

I need to do twenty laps today. No need for speed, just get 'er done. Just keep loping along. The old couple walking side by side in Lane 1 and Lane 2 are so cute, conversing animatedly with much flinging of hands as they toddle along, clearly having a wonderful time just being together.

Click. Click. Click.

Geez, it's hot up here. The sun is blazing through the windows along the east straightaway, throwing oblong hurdles of light across the lanes. I feel dipped in gold as I run through. My breathing is not quite inaudible any more, and I kind of want to stop my watch at the end of the next lap and get a drink of water. But I don't.

Click. Click. Click.

Two slender college-age girls start running side by side, one gracefully and one gawkily. The graceful one gets a dozen strides ahead over the course of a lap, her ponytail swinging in rhythm with her footfalls, before she turns, now running backward: "Come on," she calls encouragingly to her friend, the way you might coax a child to swim to you in deep water, "keep going, you can do it!" She claps and smiles, effortlessly running backwards all the while. The gawky girl is panting and every part of her is out of synch with every other part of her as she grinds to a stop. "I've got a cramp," she gasps.

Click. Click. Click. Only eight laps to go, though I'm trying not to keep count. An odd little pain on the inside of my right leg crops up just above the ankle every time I lift it. If it doesn't go away in a lap, I'll stop and walk, I promise myself. It goes away. I keep running.

Click. Click. Click. I pass a few walkers with unrecognizable tinny-boomy snatches of music seeping out of their earbuds. "Eye of the Tiger" starts playing on my internal stereo:
Risin' up
Straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

Hell no, I'm not gonna stop! I crank the mental volume all the way up for the chorus:
It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor something something the night
And he's watching us all with the eeeeeeeyyye...of the tiger

Okay, so I don't know all the words perfectly. Sue me. It's still one of the best running pick-me-up songs ever. And I've never even seen Rocky.

Click. Click. Click.

Only two laps to go! Woooot! I am breathing harder now. My heart rate monitor says I'm hanging out at 163-165, which has me pegged at the top end of my "not comfortable, but not exactly uncomfortable yet" zone. No faster, I warn myself. Maybe you can slow down just a hair.

A blonde woman zings by me, and I can tell in a heartbeat that she's on the track team just by the way she moves, sinuous and lithe and ultra-efficient, like an oar slicing perfectly into the water with nary a ripple. Her T-shirt confirms it. I'm like a Trabi sputtering along, not very fast and a little on the noisy side, but getting the job done.

Click...and CLICK is twenty laps! 3.125 miles. I made it!! I stop my watch, grab my bottle, and luxuriate in two laps of walking as I greedily guzzle water. I eventually remember to actually look at my watch and nearly choke at my time. 32:26?! I was absolutely not pushing it today, just putting the laps in and clicking my way to the end, and I ran a 10:23 pace.

Boy, that song really works!

Rest Day Recipe: Amanda's Mexican Lasagna

Since today is a rest day and there is no running-related news to report, how about a nice recipe? I made it up myself and was so excited it didn't suck that I had to share! I guess I could make it running-related by saying it's healthy, although maybe not what you want to eat before your next ten-miler.

Amanda's Mexican Lasagna

Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed or chopped fine
• About 2 pounds boneless chicken breast or chicken thighs (I used breast tenders), cut into 1/2-1-inch cubes
• 3 green bell peppers, chopped
• 1 can black beans (15 oz), drained
• 1 can chili beans in sauce (15 oz)
• 1 can "Mexicorn" with red and green peppers (11 oz), drained
• 1 16 oz jar of salsa, your favorite (I used a mild salsa)
• 1 can Ro-Tel diced tomatoes and green chiles (10 oz)
• 1 tablespoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
  
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon coriander
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 8-oz package Monterey Jack/Cheddar shredded cheese (I got a combo bag that mixed both)
• 6 large flour tortillas (burrito size, or 10") -- you can use more tortillas if you get smaller ones
• sour cream and guacamole (optional, to serve on the side if you like)

Preparation:

1. In a large, deep pot (seriously large, seriously deep--my largest saucepan was just about full to overflowing!), cook chopped onion, garlic, and green peppers in olive oil. Add chicken pieces, stirring everything frequently, and cook until chicken is no longer pink on the outside surfaces.
2. Add black beans, chili beans, and corn. Stir to mix well.
3. Add salsa and Ro-Tel tomatoes. Stir to mix well.
4. Add chili powder, salt, cumin, coriander, and cayenne pepper. Mix well.
5. In a 9 x 13 pan (Warning: it will get VERY FULL!), place a small amount of filling across the bottom of the pan. Then place 2 tortillas (or however many you need) on top to cover.
6. Place 1/3 of the filling on top of the tortillas and sprinkle 1/3 of the bag of shredded cheese on top of that.
7. Cover with 2 tortillas, another 1/3 of the filling, and another 1/3 of the bag of cheese.
8. Place the last 2 tortillas (or however many you need) on top, the remainder of the filling, and the last of the cheese. (You may have a little leftover filling that won't fit in the 9 x 13 pan. It's very tasty all by itself!)
9. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes until filling bubbles and cheese is thoroughly melted.
10. Serve with sour cream and guacamole on side.

Serves 10. I have no idea what the nutritional content for this dish would be, but being able to recognize and pronounce all the ingredients is a huge plus, in my opinion. The worst part is probably the cheese, and even that's not that bad. A whole bag has 880 calories, so that's only 88 calories per serving.

Oh, and my donation meter did finally move. A check I sent in two weeks ago finally got processed, so the meter moved even though it wasn't a new donation.

On that happy note, I bid you all good evening and bon appetit!

Quick administrative note

The donation meter on the right side of this page is broken. My goal is not $0.00 and I have certainly raised more than $0.00! Click on the "View My Page" link to see the correct totals.

The meter has not actually moved in almost two weeks. This makes me sad...

Edited to add: Yay, it got fixed! The meter is now working properly again.

In defense of the gerbil wheel

I know, I know, I sure seem like I can't make up my mind about what I think of treadmills. After being on one for nearly every workout for two weeks, I felt queasy at the mere sight of one, but after today's run, I feel I must come to its defense. At least a little.

Today all the stars aligned to make a few miles on the gerbil wheel the perfect workout for me. First off, it's raining. Yes, yes, I know I'm not made of sugar and I won't melt (is there anyone who didn't hear that from her mom as a kid?), but if you get your good shoes all wet, you have to pop out the insoles when you get home and make sure they dry properly. (However, you can't put the shoes in the dryer, or you'll actually melt the glue holding them together!) So going to the gym avoids that whole mess.

Second, I needed to dial it back a notch today. Since cutting back to 4 days a week of running, my speed has picked up noticeably, but going out too hard every time is a great way to injure yourself. I thought about running on the indoor track, but I was afraid I'd succumb once more to the temptation to run faster so I could pass that annoying person just ahead of me or show up that girl with the flying elbows who sprints past me, only to wheeze and gasp for dear life half a lap later. I am not normally a hypercompetitive person, but the track seems to bring out the worst in me. I had three fairly hard workouts this week and I needed to make sure #4 was not more of the same.

Third, I was definitely in a "phone it in" mood--so being on the gerbil wheel is perfect. You don't have to be alert for traffic, puddles, potholes, curbs, or elevation changes. You can just let your mind wander off to la-la land. You don't even have to monitor your speed since the gerbil wheel keeps you moving at a constant pace. I like to get a gerbil wheel facing outside so I can look at the sky, the trees, birds, whatever, or just stare straight ahead at the street sign bobbing green up and down in my vision and think about nothing at all.

It was a lovely workout and just what the doctor ordered. I did my five minutes of warmup and then ran 3 miles at a leisurely 12:00 pace. My heart rate never went above 150 and it felt like a moving meditation. Very nice.

What a real rabbit looks like...

(Hint: It's NOT the one in pink.)

Bright and early on Saturday morning, six intrepid women met in a parking lot to get in their three miles. You met Lindsey last week, and Angie and Molly are next to me in the picture above. We were joined by Elizabeth and Brittany to make an even half-dozen. The weather was fabulous by Frozen Tundra standards; as Lindsey put it, "It's just too beautiful not to run outside!" Note that in our neck of the woods, "beautiful" means "above freezing, not precipitating, with winds of less than 30 miles an hour." It reminds me of that scene at the end of Fargo where Marge Gunderson has the bad guy in the back seat of the cruiser, and she's taking him in with heavy snow falling. The wind is making it snow horizontally, and she laments that the bad guy did all of these horrible things "...for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that?" And then she adds, "And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day," without the slightest hint of irony.

Elizabeth had handily mapped out a 3.1 mile route for us, so after a bit of chitchat, off we go. We're all pretty close together for the first mile or so, but after we go up a steep hill, we have spread out considerably. Those of us up front walk and jog back and forth until everyone is together again, and when we set off once more, I make the mistake of running with Molly. Molly looks like a "real" runner because, as it turns out, she IS one. She held a 9:20 mile pace throughout the half-marathon she ran a couple months ago. Just think about that. Holding a 9:20 pace over 13 miles is pretty amazing. (Also note that this is faster than the 9:40 pace I managed during my 5K race. She held a faster pace for over 4 times the distance.) No, no need to adjust your monitor. That green tint is just my envy showing.

After managing to keep up with Molly for a half-mile or so, I look back and see absolutely no one. "Uh, we'd better run back to them," I venture, and we do. It doesn't help matters that Elizabeth, the only one who knows our exact route, is bringing up the rear. Once we're all together again, I tell Molly to just go on ahead and run back to us if she can no longer see us, and fall in with Lindsey and Angie instead.

The haphazard back-and-forthing continues ("Are we supposed to turn left here or at the next street?" "I don't know, let's run back and find out!"), but it provides a nice variation in pace and shakes things up a little, so it's kind of like an interval workout. I get back to the starting point of our loop at 40:05 on my watch, but I am certain I covered more than 3.1 miles with all of the back-and-forth. I'm entering it in my log as 3.6 miles in 40:05 for an 11:08 pace, which seems about right for the way I felt (mostly conversational, but with challenging bits here and there). In retrospect, I probably should have run it a bit slower, but there you go...

Brittany and Elizabeth will let absolutely nothing STOP them from crossing the finish line!!

Oh, that post-run glow--is there anything better?

Looking back, looking ahead W17/W16

I promise to provide a fuller report of today's buddy run tomorrow. I'm waiting on permission to post some pictures other people took. But I did get my 3 miles in (and then some, I think--details to follow), so that is a YES for the checklist.

Today marks the end of Week 17, and tomorrow is exactly 16 weeks until race day. (AAAAGGHH!)

What was I was supposed to do in Week 17? Did I do it?

• Sunday: 3 miles YES! (Group run)
  
• Monday: REST YES! (Heh.)
  
• Tuesday: 2.5 miles YES!
• Wednesday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes YES! (Me and Michelle, rockin' the Pilates...)
  
• Thursday: 3 miles YES! (Ran outside, yay!)
  
• Friday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes YES!
• Saturday: 3 miles (buddy run) YES!

It's SOOOO much easier to have a perfect week when the schedule's not chock-a-block with miles to run and things to do every single day of the week. I "only" ran 11.5 miles total, but my times are already so much better! I really think I was overtraining before.

Here's what I'm supposed to do in Week 16:

• Sunday: 3 miles
  
• Monday: REST
  
• Tuesday: 3 miles
  
• Wednesday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes
  
• Thursday: 3 miles
  
• Friday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes
• Saturday: 3 miles (group run)
  

Week 16 is our last "base" week, i.e., where the mileage is 3 miles or less on every run. Starting the first week of February, the long run (Saturday) gets steadily longer, and the Thursday run bumps up to 4 miles the week after that.

I got entries for my agility fundraiser from Tricia, Nanci, and Dawn, so that's another $60.00 that will go to LLS. These checks will not show up on the meter for several weeks, but it's such a boost having them come in. Thank you so much, ladies!

Pilates and the Swopper

You remember me mentioning Michelle, right? The perky Pilates lady? Well, I am happy to report we just might be friends after all. I did the Pilates for Dummies video again today and it was infinitesimally less hard than Wednesday. (Still hard, though. Those leg circles absolutely kill me!) And today I did one more exercise than I did Wednesday, although the "one exercise" actually consisted of four different leg-kick exercises repeated with both legs! I was definitely ready to stop after that.

I also got a new office chair today that purports to be kind of like sitting on an exercise ball. It's called the Swopper and I am definitely likin' it so far. Here's a video demonstration so you can see just how cool this gizmo is:

Mine is royal blue. I just love bouncing up and down like Tigger!!

All systems go, baby!

The dog bowl forecast was positively glorious today: 100% above freezing weather! Hurrah! After getting a few errands done this morning, I stepped out the door just before noon for today's scheduled three-miler. (Wave a sad good-bye at Tuesday's entry, because there are no more 2-milers on the schedule until May 11th, just 5 days before race day. It's three miles or more from here on out!)

Although being outside is always enjoyable, today wasn't quite as blissitude-inducing as last Thursday's run. It was a bit colder, it was overcast, and there was a rather bracing breeze out of the north. Still, it beats the gerbil wheel any day. I ran shockingly well (for me, anyway), covering 3.15 miles in 33:20 for a 10:35 pace. This new four-day-a-week running schedule is clearly agreeing with me.

Even better, my dog can finally drink from the water bowl again instead of whamming his nose into it and looking all surprised before he starts licking the ice! Life is good, people. Life is good.

Amanda makes a comeback: Pilates 1, Amanda 1!

Okay, I guess all that strength training was not completely worthless. The Pilates workout was not easy, but I survived. I'm sure my form was nothing to write home about, and one exercise was so confusing I had to rewind the DVD twice, but I got through most of the routine. I turned it off when she got to the section with the craaazy side kick exercises, but that was near the end. I managed to complete 14 of the 18 exercises, so I will just call that a draw and go get something to drink.

Pilates for Dummies 1, Amanda 0

So it's almost noon and I'm hungry, and I figure I can watch my new Pilates video while I eat lunch as a sort of mental warmup. I sit down on the couch with some leftover barbeque ribs and baked beans and hit the on button.

The host(ess) is a perky-looking blonde named Michelle. She's sitting on a mat on the floor. "See, look!" I say out loud to absolutely no one (yes, I work from home and I talk to myself a lot). "Just like what I use for strength training! This'll be a piece of cake!"

The dogs politely feign interest in my babble and look earnestly back and forth between me and my plate.

Michelle talks about "the powerhouse" (basically, your abs and lower back muscles) and "the box" (the area between your shoulders and hips--don't normal people call this "the torso"?) and earnestly reminds me how important it is to have control over these areas of your body at all times. I nod equally earnestly. Sure, Michelle, bring it on!

And she does. The first exercise is called "The Hundred." (All the exercises have goofy names, a trait Pilates apparently shares with yoga.) And then she demonstrates it and promptly implores me to do ten of them with her.

I stop and stare in mid-chew. Just like she promised, Michelle contorts herself without her "powerhouse" ever moving. She looks like a mannequin where someone comes over and yanks on the extremities. Holy cow, this looks hard! I've been doing strength training for close to a year, but I doubt I can look half that good. Heck, I wonder if I can do the exercises at all.

As if in response to my thought, a little sidebar pops up on the video: "If you want to make this exercise easier..." and shows a modified position.

Michelle hundreds merrily on, unaware of my deepening sense of horror. And on she goes through a whole raft of exercises, which include things called "Rolling Like A Ball," "Swan Dive" (I groaned in pain just watching it), and this series of side-kick exercises that make me wonder how legs can even move the way she's making them move without the use of extensive special effects.

By the time she gets to "The Saw," I realize why the exercises have goofy names. They're euphemisms. Otherwise they'd have to be truthful and call them things like The Exercise Where Your Thighs Spontaneously Combust or The Exercise Where We Make Your Legs Re-Enact That Scene From The Exorcist.

I was so shaken by this display of athletic prowess, and my sneaking suspicion that I am not going to be able to move tomorrow, much less run three miles, after doing this video, that I make an hour's worth of work take all afternoon. (See how that works?) And now I have to walk the dogs, so there's another hour I can procrastinate.

However, when I return, the bell will sound for Round 2. I am going to get in touch with my inner badass and do the video! Yaaaaaargh!

A red-letter day!

Apparently, a red-letter day used to refer to the marking of church festivals in red on the calendar, but now you can use it to mean any special day. Which I am!

Today rocked hardcore. It's amazing what a rest day will do for you!! I went to the gym with Betsy and got to use my shiny new lap counter for the first time! There were a lot of people running on the indoor track, and it brought out my competitive side, mwah ha ha ha ha. I ran 2.5 miles in 25:08 for a 10:03 pace. I think that's the fastest I've run since the Bowman Cup back in October! My heart rate monitor says I hit 182, which is probably only about 10 beats below my maximum heart rate, but I didn't feel too bad, even at the end. I'm putting a big mark in the W column for today.

The US Postal Service continued the awesomeness by delivering not one, not two, but three great things related to my training and fundraising!Remember my idea of making awareness ribbons for my fundraiser next month and how much effort it was to figure out the "right" colors of ribbon to use? Well, the gold (lymphoma), olive green (leukemia), and blue (myeloma) ribbon came today (note the dog nose making sure it isn't something yummy to eat!). Now I have to go to the craft store and get some advice on how best to glue/staple/whatever the loop in the ribbon and buy a bunch of itty-bitty safety pins.

Second, my Pilates for Dummies DVD came, just in time for cross-training day tomorrow! I am excited to try it and see what I think. I just got an e-mail today about a local Pilates class starting up (also on Wednesdays, very convenient!) next month, so I may do the "live version" as well.

And finally, but possibly most importantly for my morale, I got my first entries for my fundraising event next month! The big weekend is only about a month away now, and I was getting a little nervous because no one had signed up yet. Well, as of now, I won't be all alone with my thumb in my ear out there, so a big THANKS goes out to Tricia!

More fun with osteopathy!

I was at the osteopath's again last week and came home with several new exercises to add to my stretching routine. The picture aptly shows what I look and feel like while doing it. The first two exercises require me to lie on a mat and pull each leg into exceedingly pretzel-like angles, so there are always Concerned Dogs eager to help/lick my face/make sure I'm all right/stand over me so I have a great view of dog underbelly. (Blech.) Then I have to kneel on the mat for an iliopsoas stretch, and then there's a complicated hamstring stretch that is nothing like the grab-your-leg-and-pull-it-behind-you move I usually see runners doing. Then I sit down for a spinal stretch, which I have to hold for FIVE MINUTES, and end with a quick breathing exercise that is guaranteed to Bring Concerned Dogs At A Dead Run because of the weird noises involved.

It seems like it takes a long time to do all this, so I timed myself this morning. I still read the instructions for most of the stretches because I'm not that used to doing them, but all of that stuff I listed in the last paragraph took 24 minutes to do! No wonder it feels like it takes an eternity--it does! Even more fun is the fact that I am supposed to do this routine (minus the spinal stretch, which is a one-a-day) TWICE every day! Yikes!

So even my rest day is not all that restful.

Another CRAAAAZY group run!

This is Lindsey. Everybody say, "HI, LINDSEY!" (What is it about Team in Training people all being ridiculously photogenic? Running clearly does wonders for one's complexion!) She's slightly overexposed but still smiling bravely. She was one of the lovely people at yesterday's mystery-mileage road-running adventure and, like me, still came back for more!

There was a Dense Fog Advisory this morning, and man, they weren't kidding. There were times when I was going 50 on the interstate, but it did not deter me from driving a full hour to make the 8:00 a.m. group run!

See that little path snaking off through the middle of the picture? That's the beginning of our run. You can see just how foggy it is! It was actually so foggy that another clump of TNT people gathered elsewhere in the parking area--and we never even saw them! They ended up running separately, which made me sad because Melissa was with them and I never even got to say hi to her. But our group had both running coaches, so I was clearly with the cool kids! Mike, the guy whom I mistakenly thought spoke Czech, was there, as well as Lindsey (HI, LINDSEY!) and Carol and Mike (yes, there were two Mikes), two brave souls training for a triathlon. This was our fastest group run yet: we ran 3 miles in 33:24 for an 11:08 pace. I was able to converse in paragraphs the whole way, although I had to work at it a little during the last mile.

Up tomorrow: absolutely nothing! Well, that's not strictly true--I got a lot of "homework" from the osteopath, but that's a story for another entry.

I'll leave you with one final thought: Did anyone else notice that I forked over the big bucks for a gym membership Wednesday night and haven't had to run indoors since? Funny how that works, isn't it?

Looking back, looking ahead W18/W17

Welcome to a special edition of Looking Back, Looking Ahead! (No, being a day late is not the special part.) Yesterday was the end of Week 18, and today is exactly 17 weeks until race day.

What was I was supposed to do in Week 18? Did I do it?

• Sunday: 3 miles YES!
• Monday: strength training YES!
• Tuesday: 2 miles NOPE (due to muscle strain)
  
• Wednesday: 3 miles YES!
• Thursday: 2 miles YES!
• Friday: strength training NOPE (just plain ran outta gas)
• Saturday: 3 miles YES! (Actually, I did 4.16 miles!)
  

Oh well, 5 outta 7 isn't too bad. I was smart not to run on Tuesday, though.

Here's the special part: the other day, Coach Paul sent a message asking us runners to provide feedback on the training schedule. Running three days back-to-back and five days out of seven, and having no rest days, is pretty rough, and I told him so. So he and I worked out a new training schedule for me, one which actually includes (wait for it) ...a rest day!! Of course, I walk the dogs twice a day every day, so there is never a day when I am not active, but it's such a relief to not have anything "extra" one day a week. My new rest day is Monday, so tomorrow I will feel like Cleopatra lounging on her settee and having peeled grapes dropped into her mouth.

Coach Paul also encouraged me to look into Pilates as a cross-training activity, so I ordered a Pilates for Dummies DVD. I hear Pilates is pretty tough, so we'll see how I do.

Here's what I'm supposed to do in Week 17 according to my shiny new training schedule:

• Sunday: 3 miles YES! (Already done.)
  
• Monday: REST YES! (See, I'll get to put one YES! a week no matter what I do!)
  
• Tuesday: 2.5 miles (I didn't do this run last week, so I'll try to bump it up to 2.5 this week)
  
• Wednesday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes
  
• Thursday: 3 miles
  
• Friday: CROSS-TRAIN for 30 minutes
• Saturday: 3 miles (group run)
  

What I like about this schedule is that I only run two days in a row (Sat/Sun) and then get a rest day on Monday. I have a day between runs on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I'm still running four days a week, so I'm not slacking off that much.

Fundraising got a shot in the arm this week from three wonderful dog people (Julie, Wendy, and Cindy). Thank you ladies so much for keeping my donation meter moving further and further to the right! Once the meter catches up with the checks I've sent in, it should stand at $1460.50 -- only $240.00 away from my goal! That is a really fantastic feeling. Thank you so much to all of my donors!

*sings* She was lookin' kind of dumb...

...with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead...

Yeah, I get the big ol' LOSER stamp because I did not do my strength training yesterday, nor did I blog. Oh, the agony of it!

This morning, though, I continued to enjoy temperatures above freezing (YAY!) and did a buddy run with some very nice fellow TNTers. There was Kelli, who just ran a marathon last weekend (I am in awe!), Angela and Lindsey, who live maybe half an hour away, and Elizabeth, whose house is so close I could run to it without breaking a sweat. The trail was still snowy and icy, so we decided to just run on the road. Unfortunately, since we weren't on the trail, we had no mile markers to look at, so we didn't know when to turn around. I kept shouting moronic-sounding questions at the runners we encountered going the other way: "How far is 2 miles from here?" I was able to time us with my watch, at least.

Something happened on this run that will probably never ever happen again in my LIFE: I was the rabbit! (The rabbit is the one who tears off the starting line at a race and leads the pack for a while, although he/she (okay, probably a he) usually burns out and fades well before the race is over.) For me to be the fastest of any group of runners is pretty mind-boggling, although remember, Kelli ran a marathon last weekend, and one of us was in a lot of pain from shin splints. I kept stopping to walk to let the others catch up, and we waited a bit at the turn-around point and stretched before running back to complete our loop in 48 minutes and 36 seconds. I was sure we'd only covered 3 miles or so, but when I got home and plugged our route into gmaps pedometer, it said we ran 4.16 miles!! That means we ran at a surprisingly decent 11:41 per mile pace. I did not feel winded at all at the end of this run, so I guess the training effect is starting to kick in. (It's about bleepin' time.)

Despite my hearty pre-run breakfast (two scrambled eggs, a piece of buttered toast, and a bowl of steel-cut oats with blueberries, pecans, and brown sugar--I am so NOT one of those people who can't eat before a run!), I was definitely interested in joining the others for a bagel and coffee afterwards. I devoured a delectable french toast bagel with maple cream cheese... mmmmmmmm, cream cheese. [/homersimpson] Kelli and Elizabeth and I chatted for a while, and then Kelli reminded us that we were right around the corner from a local running store.

This is when my raging case of RGAD (Running Gear Acquisition Disorder) made itself felt once more. It started off innocently enough: I DID still need running gloves--I asked for them for Christmas but did not get them. My Mizuno Breath Thermo pants (which I did get for Christmas) are absolutely wonderful, so I decided to purchase a pair of "matching" Mizuno Breath Thermo gloves:
Aren't they lovely? I can't wait to wear them to the group run tomorrow.

But then things went downhill. There was a big rack marked "50% off" that I couldn't help but look through. There were lots of things in my size, so it was inevitable that I ended up with a new shirt:
Aaaaaand a pair of Saucony shorts. RGAD rears its ugly head yet again!
These are the first shorts I've ever had that have their own liner. Do you just go commando under them or what? I'll have to tap into the wisdom of the Internets on this one...

SPLENDIFEROUS FANTASTICAL AMAZARIFFIC BLISSITUDE!!

And how was your day? :-)

I got to run outside today (for the first time in TWO WEEKS!!) and nearly ‘sploded from the wondrousness of it.

Let me try to explain. Running inside on a gerbil wheel is like a diet made up entirely of K rations—it’ll keep you from dying of starvation, but “eating” consists of shoving handfuls of sawdust in your mouth and choking it down. There’s no pleasure to be had from it. By the same token, running on a treadmill resembles real running about as much as K rations resemble real food. It’s just so dead. (If zombies ran, they would run on a treadmill.) It’s the exercise equivalent of choking down sawdust. And frankly, the indoor track isn’t much better—merely a bigger gerbil wheel with views of the roof and the parking lot.

But oh! Being outside today! Everything is so alive, dynamic and flowing and shifting from moment to moment. There’s the sun, a welcome burst of white warming my right cheek, and the wind on my face feels like a tropical breeze (it’s a balmy 38 degrees) as it whooshes into me. My feet adjust to the ever-changing terrain under my feet and lift with authority each time they depart terra firma, and even in mid-January, there are sparrows chirping and a woodpecker boring noisily into a tree as I run past. The sky is cerulean blue with thin swipes of cloud smeared back and forth over it, as if applied by a sloppy housepainter, and a Cessna drones overhead like an oversized carpenter bee. The air smells fresh and clean and well-scrubbed, with an occasional tangy hint of wood smoke from someone’s chimney.

The humans are out and about too, and an unfortunate UPS guy gets doused with my crazy happy talk as I bop along, my arms pistoning out and back like The Little Engine That Could. I’m not entirely sure what I said, but it was something euphoric about the weather. I think.

By the time I hit the halfway point and turn around, my gloves are tucked into a pocket, my quarter-zip midlayer is unzipped, and I am grinning at oncoming drivers in a way that makes them look around for their cell phones to inquire if anyone’s escaped from the local looney bin. A school bus pfffs to a stop, red lights flashing, and disgorges a passel of gangly middle-school boys who promptly snatch up handfuls of grainy wet snow and fling them at each other. I smile as I run past and figure I can sprint away from any missiles lobbed in my direction.

I actually feel a pang of sadness when I hit the “stop” button on my watch. I covered 2.12 miles in 23:08 for a 10:55 pace: faster than on the gerbil wheel, but not at all surprising given the heady surroundings. Aaaah, outdoor running, how I have missed you!

In for a dime, in for a dollar...

I've stopped trying to keep track of how much cold hard cash I have shelled out in connection with this charity run. When you count the shoes, the clothes, the gym passes, the books and magazines, and the gadgets, it's a stupefying amount. But why stop now? Tonight I bought a four-month gym pass that will take me all the way to May 9, just one week before the race.

What's nice is that this removes all barriers to running (injuries notwithstanding, of course). The only question left is "Am I going to run outside or inside today?" So there's no room for excuses that it's too cold or hot or rainy or whatever--the training schedule will not be denied!

I had planned on being very delicate and dainty with my workout today, but I found myself chomping at the bit after nearly three full days off (I last ran on Sunday). I did all three miles on the treadmill (I had originally planned to walk a mile on the track, do a mile on the elliptical, and only run a mile on the treadmill!) but managed to slow the pace a little, finishing in 36:22.

We'll see what the osteopath has to say tomorrow. I really hope she doesn't tell me to take three days off again...

Owww....

I didn't run today. I overdid something during my strength training yesterday and had pain behind my knee every time I took a step. I still walked the dogs this morning and afternoon but did not do anything else. Yes, I am very bummed.

I go back to the osteopath on Thursday. I am still having hip and leg pain, and the Interwebs tell me I probably have piriformis syndrome. Oh joy.

It's one o'clock. Do you know where your dog is?

Multiple choice question: What is this picture?
A. Fox stuck in psychedelic oversized vacuum cleaner
B. Skunk hiding in hollow log on planet Zoltar
C. Border collie mix rocketing out of an agility tunnel

If you answered C, you are hereby invited to a rip-roaring, tunnel-sucking, run-your-legs-off, laugh-yourself-silly agility fundraiser to benefit (who else?) the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! This event will help me meet and hopefully exceed my fundraising goal. As you can see on the donation meter at the upper right, I'm getting closer, but I still need one more big push to get me across the finish line! Here's the lowdown:

WHO: You, if you have a dog who likes to play agility in Northern Ohio! There are no age restrictions and no registration requirements, so bring your young dogs, old dogs, or retired dogs looking for a great round of no-jumping fun! Dogs do not have to be registered with CPE, nor do they have to be competing in the CPE show that weekend.

WHAT: A special, fun, fast, all-tunnels fun run! No jumps, just pure tunnel-sucking fun! 100% of entry fees benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!

WHEN: Saturday, February 20, and Sunday, February 21, after the CPE trial runs for the day have finished. (Start time will depend on how many runs there are in the CPE trial.) We will provide a time estimate in your confirmation e-mail.

WHERE: At the Medina Swarm indoor training facility at 251 S. Main St., Wadsworth, OH. (Directions are here, but please note that the fence has been removed and the parking lot is now paved! Progress, progress...)

HOW MUCH? You can enter each fun run (Saturday or Sunday) for just $10, or get a special package price of $15 for BOTH runs! We will also accept day-of-show entries for $12 a run.

There are vendor promotions and raffles going on that weekend to help LLS even more! Download the information flyer with all the details and fill out your entry form today!

Wish you could come, but can't make it that weekend? Show your support with an "I'm there in spirit!" $10 or $15 donation--you can donate quickly and securely at my fundraising page.

We are guaranteed to have a boatload of fun with Jan Niblock's course designs and judging! Jan is donating her time and energy to help LLS, so thank you very very much, Jan!

Hope to see lots of your pups blasting through tunnels for a good cause on February 20 and 21!

A change of pace (or three)

No, no, do not try and adjust the color on your monitor--the sky is supposed to be blue! What a wonderful surprise to finally see a clear sky while walking the dogs this morning. It got very, very cold last night, so all of the trees were enveloped in frost, and the sunlight turned the tips of the branches a scintillating white. It was a breathtaking sight against the deep blue sky; the photo does not even begin to do it justice.

I had hopes of trying to run outside today, but careful inspection of the roads as I walked the dogs made me change my mind. The roads themselves are clear, but the areas to the sides are still quite icy, and it only takes one slip and fall to pull a muscle (or worse) and put yourself out of commission for longer than you can afford.

So off I went to the gym...again (yawn). Just looking at the gerbil wheel (aka treadmill) made me feel bored, and I was equally had-it-up-to-here-please-not-again-I-am-so-sick-of-this with the indoor track, where I would have to complete 19.2 laps to get my three miles in. So I decided to shake things up and try...

...yes, that's an elliptical machine. Hard to believe I have lived this long and never been on one before. Basically your feet go up and down in the pedals and your arms push those skinny poles back and forth. Except I don't remember mine having any poles. My hands were on the heart rate sensors. Oh, no, I did it wrong! It does measure distance, though, and I "ran" 1.5 miles in about 17:30. The motion of your feet going up and down in the foot pads makes a nice little "choo-choo-choo-choo" sound, like a steam engine leaving the station, but after seventeen minutes of imagining myself as The Little Engine That Could while failing to get my heart rate to go much of anywhere, I hopped off and went back to the gerbil wheel to do the remaining 1.5 miles. I actually got into the groove and ran a few minutes extra, just because I felt like it. Unorthodox though the session was, I completed the mileage, so that's another check on the calendar and another YES! for next week's report.

I was waylaid by this soul-searing craving for barbeque a few days ago and couldn't shake it. (I think it's my body's way of trying to deny it's the dead of winter.) Tonight I threw up my hands and succumbed. Never mind that we still had perfectly good leftovers--I needed BBQ STAT! My husband and I shared the incredibly delicious rib platter you see in the picture, and there were even enough leftovers for my lunch tomorrow. Sah-weet! (Oh, and Seth, I'd be happy to go again later this week whenever you have time!)

An epiphany!

I finally had an epiphany while slogging through the snow with the dogs this morning (and no, it is not to sit on a cart and have a donkey pull me 13.1 miles instead of running myself).

Let's say you have a donkey and you have him pull a cart full of goods to market. There are three markets, none of them far away, and you have the donkey pull the cart to each one once a week. You know it's hard work, so you give the donkey a day off after each trip to the market. You like it when the donkey moves briskly, but you let him slow down to a trot or even walk every few minutes to catch his breath. The donkey comes to love the trips to market and gets fairly speedy.

After six or eight months of this, word of your high-quality wares has spread, and two additional markets want you to come sell your wares there on two days the donkey used to rest. The two new markets are further away than the old ones. All of this happens just as the neurotic king passes a law that donkeys are no longer allowed to walk on their way to market--they must always run at a good steady clip. So now the donkey is running to market five days a week, can't stop and walk, and doesn't get a rest day after each trip. Oh, and on the other two days when the donkey isn't going to market, you have him do some chores around the farm that are meant to keep his hooves nice and tough so he can handle all that running to the various markets.

So here's the question: Is the donkey going to run faster now than he did before?? I think not, at least not for a long while.

The donkey is me. (I suppose you could use a less charitable name if you wish.) I can't believe it took me this long to see something so obvious. Of course I did well when I was only running three days a week and doing little baby intervals where I got to slow down all the time. Of course I'm going to run slower with no recovery intervals AND running further AND running more days of the week! Seriously, DUH! (Today's run is another case in point: 3 miles in 35:54 at 0.5 incline, including warmup time).

I feel so much better now!

As you can see, we got plenty of snow. Outdoor running is not going to happen for a while *despondent sigh*. I miss it so much.

The dog bowl forecast is screaming "YEAAARGH!! Remove me and clean me up before I start destroying your foundation! And maybe you should just buy a gym membership!" What really cracks me up is that Quincy still tries to get a drink from it almost every time he goes outside.

Looking back, looking ahead W19/W18

Today is the end of Week 19, and Sunday marks exactly 18 weeks until race day.

What was I was supposed to do in Week 19? Did I do it?

• Sunday: 3 miles YES!
• Monday: strength training YES!
• Tuesday: 2 miles YES!
  
• Wednesday: 3 miles YES!
• Thursday: 2 miles YES!
• Friday: strength training YES!
• Saturday: 3 miles YES!

Yay, another perfect week! I wasn't too sure about today for a while, but I managed to get up to the gym and put in my 3 miles, so it's an all-green week!

Here's what I'm supposed to do in Week 18:

• Sunday: 3 miles
  
• Monday: strength training
• Tuesday: 2.5 miles (the schedule calls for 2 miles, but I'm trying to bump up slowly now so I don't have the rude awakening of having both 2-milers go up to 3 miles the same week)
  
• Wednesday: 3 miles
  
• Thursday: 2 miles (and I'm going back to the osteopath, so hopefully I won't be twiddling my thumbs afterwards for 3 days again)
  
• Friday: strength training
• Saturday: 3 miles
  

There is a group run next Sunday, but that will be part of Week 17, not this week. Annie and I have not gotten together for a run because she is sick. The weather has improved somewhat, and I saw some blue sky this afternoon, but outdoor running is still looking pretty dicey right now.

Fundraising has slowed down a bit, but that is to be expected since so many people have already donated. I did get a lovely, lovely note and donation from Walt and Nancy, my neighbors. They are on vacation in Florida, but another neighbor who was taking in their mail sent my hand-delivered letter on to them, and they took the time to write a wonderful card and send a donation from Florida. Just proof that my neighbors are some of the finest people on the planet. Thank you, Walt and Nancy!

Awareness ribbons: God's gift to the universe, or giant pain in the butt?

So I'm finalizing plans for my fundraiser next month (I can't wait to spill the details--yes, soon I will bore you to dea-- uh, I mean thrill your socks off!), and I had what I thought was a simple, elegant, and nice idea. I want to make little lapel ribbons (the old-fashioned kind made out of actual ribbon, not the metal ones that are so common these days) and tell everyone who comes to the fundraiser to take and wear one if they have or had a friend or relative with leukemia, lymphoma, or myeloma (the three main diseases the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society fights). The president of the facility hosting the event is a lymphoma survivor, our guest judge lost a family member to lymphoma, and several others who will likely attend have e-mailed me with their stories of battles won and lost with blood cancers. It seemed like a dignified, low-key way for people to honor their friends and family and show how many of us have been touched by blood cancers--to raise awareness, in other words. Sounds great, right?

Hyeh. Sure it does, until you open the big can of worms: what color ribbon do you use? Do you lump everyone under one color, or split it out into two or three different colors (one for lymphoma, one for leukemia, and one for myeloma)? Who determines which colors stand for what?

I began with the trusty old Interwebs to get their take on the matter, and believe you me, there was no shortage of advice. Depending on whom you ask, the correct ribbon color for leukemia is green! No, wait, I mean orange! No, no, they're both wrong, it's clearly red-white-red for both leukemia and lymphoma! And on and on it went. I was just about ready to buy white ribbon, slap a bunch of magic markers down on the table, and tell people to pick whatever darn color they wanted. When I asked the LLS office what colors to use, my friendly local campaign chair had to ask around to get an official answer, and once again, the inquiry yielded a totally different set of colors: olive green for leukemia (no offense, but yuck-- it's a dark drab color that will not stand out on people's lapels), gold for lymphoma, and blue for myeloma.

The more I thought about this and poked around, the more disillusioned I got. According to Wikipedia, a purple ribbon can stand for at least 25 causes ranging from Crohn's disease and religious tolerance to animal abuse and macular degeneration. According to another site, a blue ribbon can stand for "drunk driving, child abuse, Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI), the victims of hurricane Katrina, dystonia, acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS), alopecia, Education, Epstein-Barr Virus, Save the Music, colon cancer (alternative ribbon color: brown), colorectal cancer (alternative ribbon color: brown), and anti-tobacco - particularly anti-second hand smoke (in Canada; alternative ribbon color: brown), I Love Clean Air/ILCA Campaign (Japan)." So if I see someone wearing a blue ribbon, I don't know whether I should congratulate her on all the anti-smoking legislation recently enacted (but only if we're in Toronto), break out a guitar and burst into song, or offer to help rebuild her house, only to get an angrily hissed reply of "This is for my grandpa who died of colon cancer, you jerk!"

There are plenty of places that will sell you lapel pins in every color known to man. Heck, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's own e-store will happily sell you this yellow lymphoma crystal necklace or green leukemia crystal earrings. (A beautiful expression of support/remembrance, or incredibly creepy and off-putting? I can't decide!) Is "awareness" really supposed to be its own industry?

Be that as it may, shortly after I dutifully ordered several yards of olive green, gold, and blue ribbon, I chanced upon a page with detailed instructions on making lapel ribbons. Needless to say, I ordered both the wrong width and the wrong ribbon material, whoo-hoo! *facepalm*

I wonder if it's too late to change my order to white ribbon--I'm about ready to surrender...