Awareness ribbons: God's gift to the universe, or giant pain in the butt?

So I'm finalizing plans for my fundraiser next month (I can't wait to spill the details--yes, soon I will bore you to dea-- uh, I mean thrill your socks off!), and I had what I thought was a simple, elegant, and nice idea. I want to make little lapel ribbons (the old-fashioned kind made out of actual ribbon, not the metal ones that are so common these days) and tell everyone who comes to the fundraiser to take and wear one if they have or had a friend or relative with leukemia, lymphoma, or myeloma (the three main diseases the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society fights). The president of the facility hosting the event is a lymphoma survivor, our guest judge lost a family member to lymphoma, and several others who will likely attend have e-mailed me with their stories of battles won and lost with blood cancers. It seemed like a dignified, low-key way for people to honor their friends and family and show how many of us have been touched by blood cancers--to raise awareness, in other words. Sounds great, right?

Hyeh. Sure it does, until you open the big can of worms: what color ribbon do you use? Do you lump everyone under one color, or split it out into two or three different colors (one for lymphoma, one for leukemia, and one for myeloma)? Who determines which colors stand for what?

I began with the trusty old Interwebs to get their take on the matter, and believe you me, there was no shortage of advice. Depending on whom you ask, the correct ribbon color for leukemia is green! No, wait, I mean orange! No, no, they're both wrong, it's clearly red-white-red for both leukemia and lymphoma! And on and on it went. I was just about ready to buy white ribbon, slap a bunch of magic markers down on the table, and tell people to pick whatever darn color they wanted. When I asked the LLS office what colors to use, my friendly local campaign chair had to ask around to get an official answer, and once again, the inquiry yielded a totally different set of colors: olive green for leukemia (no offense, but yuck-- it's a dark drab color that will not stand out on people's lapels), gold for lymphoma, and blue for myeloma.

The more I thought about this and poked around, the more disillusioned I got. According to Wikipedia, a purple ribbon can stand for at least 25 causes ranging from Crohn's disease and religious tolerance to animal abuse and macular degeneration. According to another site, a blue ribbon can stand for "drunk driving, child abuse, Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI), the victims of hurricane Katrina, dystonia, acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS), alopecia, Education, Epstein-Barr Virus, Save the Music, colon cancer (alternative ribbon color: brown), colorectal cancer (alternative ribbon color: brown), and anti-tobacco - particularly anti-second hand smoke (in Canada; alternative ribbon color: brown), I Love Clean Air/ILCA Campaign (Japan)." So if I see someone wearing a blue ribbon, I don't know whether I should congratulate her on all the anti-smoking legislation recently enacted (but only if we're in Toronto), break out a guitar and burst into song, or offer to help rebuild her house, only to get an angrily hissed reply of "This is for my grandpa who died of colon cancer, you jerk!"

There are plenty of places that will sell you lapel pins in every color known to man. Heck, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's own e-store will happily sell you this yellow lymphoma crystal necklace or green leukemia crystal earrings. (A beautiful expression of support/remembrance, or incredibly creepy and off-putting? I can't decide!) Is "awareness" really supposed to be its own industry?

Be that as it may, shortly after I dutifully ordered several yards of olive green, gold, and blue ribbon, I chanced upon a page with detailed instructions on making lapel ribbons. Needless to say, I ordered both the wrong width and the wrong ribbon material, whoo-hoo! *facepalm*

I wonder if it's too late to change my order to white ribbon--I'm about ready to surrender...